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I just made a pot of coffee. Ya wanna drop by?
Posted by Barbara Smith (BWSmith)
This message was originally posted on
Christian Homeschool Fellowship on the Web

No mother of a teenage boy — or girl — who reads this board does not relate to your sorrow. You are not alone! I just made a pot of coffee. Ya wanna drop by?

And remember that because Jesus Christ lives in your heart, HE sees and knows and will act on your behalf and in the best interests of your son and daughter, who HE loves better than you and your husband. Satan wants us to doubt this — and may be coming at you very subtly: attacking and deceiving. Therefore, focus on God, HIS goodness and love poured out in Jesus Christ. Renew your passion for HIM and HE will revive your strength to complete the assignment HE gave, raising these dear children.

Ok — here's some stuff I learned and applied --- it is definitely, MY opinion. But check it with Scripture and see if anything applies — Praise and worship are the FIRST and best line of defense, for God is our offense. Enemies made war on good king Jehoshaphat -- who turned to God and His prophets. He then proclaimed a fast -- big-time! — And laid the problem before the Lord, specifically. As God reminded King Jehoshaphat, he reminds moms: thus says the LORD to you, "Do not fear or be dismayed because of this [willful, angry teenager] for the battle is not yours but God's."

Does that truth not THRILL your soul? RELAX Mom! God is on the JOB! Well that also strikes fear in my heart because these kids don't understand who it is they tale on when they wrestle with the authority over them — so this is why we PRAY for pure hearts and clear consciences for them and us.

Now — " Jehoshaphat bowed his head with {his} face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell down before the LORD, worshiping the LORD." Never underestimate position, posture and purpose in your prayers and never skip over PRAISE. For that is how God routed the enemies. (2 Chronicles 20:20- 25)

Also, where does anger come from? My pastor suggested that anger comes from a heart wherein the "idols" are getting knocked — It comes as no surprise to me where my anger comes from --usually I am not getting my way. How mature, right? Well, just because my ambitions are "grown-up," doesn't mean they are Godly! (Did you read Tamara's post on "The Test"? ) I am seldom on fire with righteous anger because God's standards have been violated — no, I blow up— or get icy — because I am unhappy. It sounds like some idols in your son's heart have been knocked about and he's furious.

We can sympathize — but we cannot permit on-going, escalating bouts of fury, any more than we can overlook laziness, complaining, lying or stealing- right? That's the tricky part: how to you reign in a bucking bronco? Carefully, deliberately and with the confidence you are working for a mighty BIG Boss!

I am convinced many teenagers get into tantrums the way toddlers do — and for many of the same reason: fatigue, fear, loneliness and frustration. Just like we help toddlers grow out of tantrums, we help our older children master their emotions — I set many BAD examples, unfortunately, so we were BOTH learning at the same time.

Be sure you are telling this young man--at the appropriate times of your love for him-- your delight in all his gifts and abilities and how grateful to God you are for him --the enemy is perfecting capable of lying to him, as he is to you. When peace is present, carefully explain violent outbursts are unacceptable, period. NEVER try to set new policy in the heat of battle! When you are wrong, admit it. USE Scripture and prayer and simple-to-understand disciplines that are always enforced, even if appropriate apology follows. You yell, you lose TV — or whatever works best for creating an understanding in your child that God takes sin seriously, for IT coast Jesus an agonizing, humiliating death upon a Roman cross. If your DS breaks something, even though you can understand and forgive, he must make amends and pay for the damage, as he faces a discipline. Our offenses are always against God FIRST — therefore, encourage our children to seek HIS forgiveness. Pray for his heart — that if any chains of fleshly sin, or generational sin are encumbering him, that the BLOOD of Jesus Christ will free him.

Don't give up if your son doesn't automatically THANK YOU for this — Keep at it. Pray, pray, pray and NEVER doubt that God who began a good work, by giving you this child, will see it through to the day of Christ Jesus.

God bless you and give you great JOY in mothering the boy — who will one day, by God's grace, be the father of your grandchildren.


© Barbara W. Smith 1998, all rights reserved
Permission is given to reprint any of Barbara's articles in non-profit publications as long as the article is reprinted in full and contains the copyright information and Web site address.

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Third Floor Publishing
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Arnold, MD 21012

We hope our thoughts encourage you in the Lord Jesus Christ who has enabled us to do exceedingly abundantly more than we could have asked or imagined -- please let us know what YOU think. E-mail us at workbook@toad.net. (Please don't forget to include your e-mail address with in the body of the message--we've had some of our responses returned due to insufficient e-mail addresses.)


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Barbara & Douglas Smith
"This hope we have as an anchor of the soul ..."
Hebrews 6:19

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